Today, I am going to start off by taking you back to when I was a small child. As I look back, I see God’s purposeful hand and how He was already molding me and shaping me, way back then! My entire life God had given me a motherly love for children. As a 4 year old I used to watch “Annie” at my Grandma Sherry and Grandpa Hank’s home. After that I had to save the world of orphans that are not loved well! I would also go to my Grandma Mona’s and tell her, “Grandma, one day I am going to have a whole castle of children (600 to be exact) and we are going to come to your house for ice cream!” Of course she went along with my thought.
So as the years have past, God has continually been molding me. I went to Colorado State University and attained my Undergraduate degree in Social Work. I did this with the desire to work with Adoption. God opened the doors with Bethany Christian Services with such perfect ease. I was given the Foster Care Coordinator/Recruiter position. At the time Foster Care was not my passion, but I was intrigued. As I continued to work there, my passion to help broken families, children in unsafe/sad situations, and family reunification became very strong. Then I got to work with Expectant Parents with unplanned pregnancies and couples looking to adopt. I was able to come along side these individuals as well. Watching God’s hand work, with His perfect timing, plan, and purpose for each couple/individual was amazing.
Giving this background, as I am asking God, what is your plan for my life? What direction should I be going in? Orphans have been on my heart. So, when speaking with a friend, I found out that Youth With A Mission (YWAM) has an orphanage in Cambodia and I could possibly travel with them and stay at the orphanage. I was excited because if I do something overseas again, my desire is to love/work with the orphans. However, I also knew that me being gone from the ministry here in Thailand and the possibility that I may not be allowed to go to the orphanage were two potential closed doors. As you already know, these doors were opened!
When I began my travels to Cambodia, I asked God, to give me clarity in His plan for my future. To my surprise, the orphanage home (The Jeevit house) that I was staying at only had two children. It was an orphanage for children who were HIV+. We also went to the big orphanage, but this was where I was going to be staying, and I thought, ‘oh man…two weeks…I only need a couple days to fully grasp this.’ This was when I prayed, “LORD, you opened the doors so easily for me to come here. I do not understand what you want me to get out of this experience. But, help me to see your vision. Help me to be a blessing to the children and the workers here.”
Let me first give you a little visual of the work done while in Cambodia. Those of you who experience life as a Social Worker/within a ministry, often times, we wear many hats. So, on top of caring for the children, we had something similar to a Vacation Bible School for all the children in the slums nearby, time spent in the large orphanage down the street, rice days to give the families extra rice to feed their children, and going around to visit families in need (bringing them necessary things-ex. formula). My heart broke as I saw most of the children’s teeth were rotted out, some were naked, some had fungus growing out of their bottoms and on their feet, and as I held the children (noticing many wore their same clothes every day) the stench from their bodies, remained on my clothes too. The effects of this poverty put me into shock. They made our families here in Thailand look rich. Our families in our mercy ministry who live in similar looking neighborhoods yet, the children’s teeth are not rotted and they do not carry that stench. My heart was broken for these beautiful people. We got up around 5:30am every morning to make mounds of food for the children who came over as well as to take care of the two boys in the Jeevit home and after each days activities, I was ready for bed by 9:00pm.
I also feel it is crucial that you know a little history about Cambodia. Remember when there was that horrible war in Cambodia around 1975? Many people lost all of their possessions, including their homes and land. So, these are the grandparents and the parents that are residing in the slum areas of Cambodia. To my shock, I found out that many of the children in the large orphanage were not truly orphans. Most were dropped off by their parents (who reside down the street) in order that they may have a better chance at life. Due to confidentiality I am not allowed to post pictures of the large orphanage. So, to give you a visual it seemed to me like a cross between a Camp and a Residential Treatment Center. There were cabins that had a house mom and 8-10 children residing in each. There was also a nurse’s office, an information office, a library (of one bookshelf), basketball courts and a separate baby house. The baby house was the saddest part of the orphanage. One baby was at least 3 months and he looked like a sickly premature new born. These babies laid in their cribs most of the day, without much bonding time with the caregivers and often time left in their poop/urine. Besides the baby house, the biggest realization for me was that the children in the orphanage were better taken care of physically then they would be in their parent’s home. But, should poverty really be what separates families? Watching a child be separated from a family that loves well because of poverty is horrible. What do we need to do to help families stay together?
Through prayer and processing, God gave me His vision, and showed me His twofold purpose of my two weeks in Cambodia. First, the two boys in the Jeevit house were brothers. The baby was 15 months and the older one was seven. Both looked younger then they are because of the malnutrition they have had. Their mother is on her death bed with AIDS and the grandmother comes to visit weekly, but she does not feel that she can care for the boys. So, as I became a caregiver, I soaked in where they were both at socially, emotionally, and intellectually. God allowed me to be a blessing by using my background with Bethany to help the other staff see that the seven year old was in some ways a 4year old and in other ways a 2 year old. We were able to discuss how to help him, appropriate expectations for him (not 7year old expectations), and how to discipline him (similar to the Beyond Consequences approach). Then as the director and I were talking, their vision is to also be a foster home organization, where the children who are brought into the Jeevit House as sickly HIV+ children, as soon as they are healthy enough, they can be placed in a foster care setting. So, I was able to be a blessing again (after reading the Cambodian rules and regulations) to help them know and understand what is needed in the files, a family assessment, the interview process, and the trainings to begin this effort.
Second, He has continued to define more clearly His purpose for me in many different aspects. Prior to my experience in Cambodia I was thinking about fostering ASAP when I arrive back into Colorado. But, when I was at the Jeevit house (the boys are like foster children) I realized that there is no way I will be able to have a job, get my masters, and foster as a single woman. It is not just a job, but it is a family. For a child to grow, he/she needs more than just his/her basic needs met. He/She needs true motherly and fatherly care. Although I thought I could provide this, I cannot juggle a masters and work on top of loving a broken child/sibling group well. I also realized the importance of a child having both a mother and father figure bond. It was just us three girls living at the Jeevit House. All seemed to be well, but when my guy friend came over to visit one day, I realized the desired attention/bond of a male role model that the 7 year old needed. So, through my experience with the work and what my eyes have been opened too, I have clearer formed vision of what kind of Social Work/Orphanage I would like to be a part of, invest in, or lead.
Let me give you this specific visual so that you can pray with me. I would like to have land where we would start out with three homes, each with a married couple who have a passion to love the orphans as their own children; that this would not just be their job, but their family. We would only have as many children in each home as each couple specifically could love well. The children in these homes are also truly orphans. As families, and as staff, we would also do ministry in the neighborhoods around us. Those parents, that are at the point of feeling hopeless, and feel it would be better for their children to be raised in an Orphanage, we would help them help themselves. For it is better for a family to stay together (helping them be safe), because no matter how poor a family is, God gives the endurance and He cares. We can help! I feel very strongly about this. I envision Compassion being involved, and if adoption (for the children residing in our homes) is in the best interest of the child, that those doors can be opened then we would prepare and help that transition for each party involved as well.
I do not have clarity as to what my role will be (from the States, in Thailand, and in what arena), but God has given me a passion and as I look back, He has continually molded and shaped me. He is preparing me for His specific purpose. I know that God will continue to reveal to me His plan and purpose. I am unsure when this Orphan/Mercy Ministry will begin-whether 3-5years, 10years, or 20years. I have friends here in Thailand who have this same passion laid upon their hearts, and I see God at work. Will you pray with me today about this ministry? Many doors would have to open (first the land-in the area that this ministry is needed), the staff, another organization involved, the governments okay, the financial support, the married couples, etc. From a human perspective this seems like an impossible dream, but God is purposeful, and nothing is impossible for Him!
Today, I rest in the fact that I do not have to have all the answers. I know that God is doing a great work in each of us and He will not abandon His work. As I am transitioning my work here in Thailand and returning back to Colorado, I know that I will in some way always be working with broken families, orphans, and adoption. Our relationship with Jesus Christ makes it clear as day for me. We are broken and we need an eternal father/savior. Jesus has laid His life down for us with an unconditional, fatherly love. My prayer is that in each relationship that I have, each person that crosses my path, that as they get to know me, they get to know Christ at a deeper level. I pray all people feel the unconditional love of our heavenly father through us both (brothers and sisters in Christ).
Please take some time today noticing and thank God today for His purposeful plan in your life...because if you do not realize it yet, His plan is absolutely going to be prefect!
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